Fall Seasoning

I think I have found my new favorite tv show.

Since this is looking like the last season of Scrubs, I started to check out some new shows this season to see if my Tivo is going to get much of a workout this fall. I fell for the hype and watched Studio 60 on Sunset Strip and was really impressed. I have always been meaning to check out an Aaron Sorkin creation. I had one of the "always meant to watch it but never did" things with Sports Night and The West Wing, so if I wasn't going to get in now I won't watch this either. For those of you who have experience the Sorkin style of writing, this is like comfort food. For a novice like me, I was blown away from the quality of dialogue and just the smart wit. Now, people don't really talk like that in real life, but at the same time I like to think it encourages people to talk more intelligently. It's the witty dialogue that gets me to watch Gilmour Girls with Brittany every week. (there, I've admitted it. I watch Gilmour Girls)

Day Time TV

I am battling an illness and spent the afternoon at home flipping through daytime television when I happened upon a show on TLC called Take Home Chef. Basically, this good looking young British chef picks someone (almost always a woman) at a grocery store, tells her that he will go home with her and cook a dinner for her and surprise her husband/boyfriend/friends.... Just what I need, some pretty boy bloak to pick up on my wife while she's trying to get some shopping done and impress her with some good cooking... I only saw two of these shows but both woman he picked were pretty much blabbering idiots around this guy even though one of them was married.... My wife has strict orders that if she is approached by a guy with an accent and a camera crew, she is to use the pepper spray....liberally.

Anyone know what Bob Saget is up to nowadays?

Has it already been six weeks since I have returned from Minnesota? I still have quality content to mine from that...but I'll save that for another time...Let's try some advanced technology and try a video clip...Now I think I can probably win $10,000 from one of those, "Country's Most Hilarious Home Video" shows, but I will share it with you for free. (Maybe if you get a chuckle out of it you can send me a dollar. It might add up)

My friends Jason and Mel got married last weekend and it went off great. A beautiful wedding followed by a big traditional Chinese banquet. Dancing followed dinner and that's where my daughters decided to show off their moves. There, clip is set up. As they say on those late night talk shows: "Roll Clip!"



Congratulations, Jason and Mel!

Take me out...to lots of baseball games

The second most important thing about coming to Minnesota was to be able to catch a lot of baseball games. For my brother in laws, this was their chance to see their beloved Twins as much as they can. But more importantly, as baseball fans in general, we are up for spending as much time as possible at the park as possible. So I included this special post for all the baseball that went on this week....



It started simply on Tuesday night with a game with the local amateur baseball team in Prior Lake. Amateur baseball is big around here and they take it seriously. The park was beautiful for a local baseball field and the play was pretty good. It definitely gave me that "For the Love of the Game" feeling. To top it off, our presence inspired the team to their first win of the year!



On Wednesday we decided that we could wait no more and attended the Twins-Indians matinee at the Metrodome. We were totally excited to be there and even splurged on some good seats about 20 rows behind home plate.



The place definitely had a cavernous feeling, but I thought it was pretty cool. The air conditioning was especially welcomed on a humid day and I saw a sight I have never seen at a baseball game (having never seen a game outside of California)....a beer man! Guys walking up and down the aisles carrying heavy trays of beer and ice so you don't have to get up? It was amazing! I wanted to shake their hand, but wanted to buy what they were offering more....



We had such a good time (a relative concept, of course. The Twins were thumped 11-0 by Vallejo native C.C. "Cheeseburger" Sabathia and the Indians) that we went back on Friday with the whole family, as well as the family with whom we have been staying with. This turned out to be even more special as they picked that night to celebrate the recent passing of Legislature to build a new ball park for the Twins. The governor was there to sign the bill, past Twins legends were on hand (my favorites - Jack Morris, Dan Gladden, Rod Carew, and in my favorite Twin of all time (no disrespect to Kirby), Harmon Killebrew), and every fan received a free hot dog and soda. Plus it was a match up of the future of baseball as Francisco Liriano of the Twins faced Felix Hernandez of the Mariners...the night pretty much went according to script, leading to a 3-1 victory for the Twinkies. Our crowd went wild with the victory....



Perhaps the best experience of all, however, came Saturday night, as we visited the greatest spectacle of Minor League baseball -- The St. Paul Saints. The independent league with really no one to answer to carried the wacky minor league promotions torch with pride with the logo "Fun is Good."



Where to begin the craziness? The pig mascot "Mudonna" roaming the field? The real live pig that brings the umpire new baseballs between inning named Bud Squealig? The fan harness onto a billboard in left field and told that if he caught a ball while stuck up there all game, he would win $10,000? ... No, I think it has to be the fact that we attended the game where they celebrated the 30th anniversary of The Love Boat. Pictures of the B-actors that made guest appearances on the show were plastered all over the stadium. Games in between innings (included one involving Mrs. Brittany Kwong herself) had a Love Boat flavor to it....and did I mention the giveaway? A rubber toy boat colored purple and gold, reminding us of a certain local football team and their experiences on a "Love Boat". The giveaway was worth the 4 dollars general admission itself. A whole night of entertainment as well made it one of the best time I have had at a baseball park. Go Saints!

Hitting the Road Again....

After passing the half way point of our trip, it was on the road again for us. We started back in Albert Lea where we met with Britt's mom's uncle (help me out again...great uncle? am I close?) who has a farm outside of town. Being way out in the country was nice, especially the railroad tracks that ran directly next to their house. We had to have a quick Stand by Me moment....



We then went back into town and meet with an old friend of Britt's dad. They were a great family and we spent the whole evening sharing stories over pizza. Even with some passing showers earlier in the day, the kids could not resist playing on the trampoline in the backyard (also extremely common in people's yards here, along with that swing set)



After a quick stop at Dairy Queen, it was time to head back to Prior Lake. We got in pretty late, but we had another full day ahead of us, so we got up reasonably early and was at it again. Friday was a visit to where Britt spent the most time before moving out to California. We drove around to see their old house, as well as the houses of people they knew. Then a stop with some more old friend of her dad's and then it was onto Wisconsin, where some dear friends of Britt's family has a farm. Britt has been wanting me to meet them ever since I've known her and now I can see why. They are great people with the best sense of humor and just fun to hang around. They raise these Scottish Highland cattle that has long hair and looks pretty weird....



They also raised sheep (who really needed some shearing since it was another hot day out) and some chickens, so the kids had a blast seeing all of the animals.



Ah heck, some of us big people thought it was cool too....



We had a bbq lunch (hamburgers from the above cattle, I might add) and it was too soon time to go. This was one stop that I was sad to leave so soon. It would have been fun to hang around a bit longer. We had to rush back to the Minneapolis to make the baseball game though, which brings me to the next post....

Towns visited: Albert Lea, MN (again), Hastings, MN, Elmwood, WI

Mid-week bonanza

The past two days has slowed down a bit and we have had a chance to relax and catch up on some rest. We even made a second trip to the MOA to make sure we saw all of the Twins and Gophers memorabilia. Tuesday mornings are slow there, as all the employees were just standing around socializing....



Anyways, we were only there for about an hour and ended up meeting up Britt's cousin for lunch at Clearly Lake Park. It was a nice place with a playground and (what else?) a lake. The kids couldn't resist and decided to get their feet wet at the "beach" (if there is sand, it's a beach....I guess)



As you can see, we weren't getting into trouble at all.....



They were playing fine when a funny thing happened: a photographer with the local picture came by and asked to take pictures of the kids for a story they were writing about people living happily in the suburbs. So sure enough, the next day, a picture not so different than the one above, appeared on the front page of the local section of the paper. I have several copies, and will have to scan in one to show you, as internet versions of newspapers never include the pictures. Incidentally, according to the paper, we are from Redmond, CA. Maybe the editors realized that an article about nice living in the suburbs shouldn't be associated with the Murder capital of the west....

Some other odds and ends:

- You remember in Dumb and Dumber that part where they pee in a bottle in the car? Well the Dumb and Dumber I'm riding with have took it to another level and started a booger bottle.... no pictures will be included.....ever.

- I didn't get to mention that when we were in Marshall, we also visited Britt's dad's granny (which would make her my daughters great great grandmother). She's 95 and has Alzheimer's but she is still energetic and bright. She lived in the "dementia ward" of a convalescent home, which was locked from the rest of the place and it was a little sad seeing all of the people living there. When all 12 of us who were visiting were being left out, one of the seniors living there tried to blend in and walk out with us. It was really funny...and sad....at the same time.

Shop 'til you Puke

While I came to Minnesota to meet family, it was also time to have some touristy fun. Really, you can't be any more touristy while in the Twin Cities than visiting the Mall of America. I, like many people back home, generally hate malls. The MOA (to use local vernacular) is really just a big, industrial mall. All of your mall staples are represented (some more than once. More on that later), there just happens to be this big amusement park in the middle that greets you as you walk in.



But back to the stores for a moment...If anyone ever wonders if there is such a thing a TOO big of a mall, the answer is most certainly, yes. When your mall is so big that you have to put the same store not once, note twice, but three times in different areas, you have too much room. I'm not talking about Starbucks either (I actually only saw one of those), there are 4 Lids stores in the mall. Why do you need the same hat store 4 times??? Then there are MOA gift stores all over the place too, also cheating. Throw in a few Cinnabons, I figure there are probably only about 12 stores in the whole place...give or take 50 or so.

We didn't really have time to do a lot of shopping. We hit a lot of sporting goods stores so that my brother-in-laws can stock up on Twins and Gopher merchandises. I got a few Gophers stuff too but will probably wait until I get to the Twins game to get me a hat or something. Plus riding the rides take up most of your time. The girls had a blast and wanted to go on everything. Now that Hannah is tall enough for more adult rides she went on her first roller coaster. Britt and I were nervous but it turned out that the roller coaster there was probably perfect for a first timer. Just intense enough for a good time. Sara played the younger sibling perfectly and cried a lot because she wasn't tall enough for many of the rides. The ones she did get on, she had a blast....



One last cool thing...the mall was built on the site of the old Metropolitan stadium where the Twins used to play before the beloved Metrodome was erected (heh heh, he said erect...). They left two pieces of the old stadium as part of the mall, including home plate....for Twins diehards like my in-laws, this was like a pilgrimage to Mecca. For Britt and I, we just get a chance for more goofy pictures.....



Cities visited: Mall of America, MN (it's big enough to be its own city...ok, technically it's in Bloomington, MN)

On the road again....and again...and again...

So I would have updated sooner, but the internet access that I am stealing is a little shaky, especially during the hours when I think the neighbors is using their connection (of course they can say the same..."Why is Internet so slow lately?"). That and the fact that I've basically spend the last two days permanently imprinting my ass on the backseat of the rental car. Two things that I have learned about life in Minnesota:

- If you don't like the weather, wait a 10 minutes and it will change.

- Anywhere you go is pretty much a 2 hour car ride.

The last rule, stems a bit from the fact that I am on the Friesen reality tour this week, they have just lived in so many parts of the state. Driving through Minnesota isn't so foreign compared to home. The flatness is smartly hidden behind unnecessary curves in the road (everything is flat, what are we meandering around?) and a LOT of trees. Combine with the farmlands, it isn't so different than driving through the Central Valley in California, or even going through Davis....for 4 hours. The sky seems bigger though, making the it seem more vast. Maybe it's like the Truman show and they just built me a new set in a bigger studio while I was on the fake "plane".

In any case, I ended up in some pretty small towns in the middle of nowhere. In fact, we attended a 50th wedding anniversary of Britt's grandmother's sister (what does that make her to us? I have no idea...) at the smallest, oldest church that I think I have ever attended. And as promised, visual aids.....



And the middle of nowhere part, as demonstrated by my lovely wife standing on the street right out front....



Small town charm, you gotta love it....

Towns visited: Marshall, MN; Clarkfield, MN

Welcome to Minnesota!

So after the reddest of eye flights this morning (still looking for the answer to the proverbial question, "Is it a red-eye flight if your eyes are red BEFORE you board?") We touched down at Herbery Humphrey Aiport at 5:45 am local time. So starts my trip with Britt's family back home to Minnesota. We come with somewhat somber hearts, as the biggest reason was to bring Britt's mom's ashes back to be buried with her family, but we are looking at the bright side and are thankful to her for her last gift to us and allowing us to all be back here. There are supposedly a lot of people that I am to meet over the next ten days (who am I kidding? it's the girls that are the star attraction with these people), so I really better take a nap straighten out my body clock. Some first impressions though....

- Flying in a dawn allowed for some wonderful views of the area....Land of 10,000 lakes indeed. I thought it was a bunch of puddles down there. And I think I've seen my last "hill" for a while. I'm exploring the rumor that early Minnesota settlers were spaniards who were looking for comfort after Columbus came back. (I know, it's a reach at humor. Just stick with it and you'll chuckle a week from now).

- For those of you at home. Gas price if $2.89 or so around here. I'll try and send some back for you guys.

- We are staying with Britt's cousin in Prior Lake just out side of Minneapolis. Britt and I are having a hard time adjusting to the suburban life in the midwest. Kids walk to the park without adult supervision. They walk in the middle of the street because cars actually watch out for people. Unless you have a dog, no one's house has a fence and you basically have one big comuunal backyard. It's like walking into the Twilight Zone Housing Association. We'll see if I can make Britt into a Stepford Wife....

-And finally, thanks to whoever neighbor here has the unsecure wireless access. I really appreciate you letting me "borrow" some bandwidth this week....

I'll try and keep this going throughout the week. I need a nap or something. Visual aids will be incorporated as well...

Can you hear me now?

In today's high tech world, we can communicate with each other like never before. We all have cell phones, e-mails, blackberries to check our e-mails, and even silly little blogs like this one, just to make us feel like someone is listening to our mundane thoughts. We must value this basic need because people get really angry when our precious lines of communication gets cut off. Have the Internet connection at your house ever gone out? You feel like you might as well have been in an air raid during World War II. The isolation you felt because you can't get to that spam sitting in your inbox driving you nuts.

I think the fact that technology is not 100% reliable just makes just more angry with each other. I mean, you can never really get mad at a machine and feel satisfied, so you transfer that anger to the next available person...You ever talk to someone on the cell phone, and they start breaking up and they can't understand you? You know it's not their fault that you can't hear them, but you grow more and more frustrated that you have to repeat yourself, and you start yelling at the person, like loud volume is what's going to clear up the cellular transmission. Then you start fighting with the person about how Molly Ringwald WASN'T in St. Elmo's Fire and friendships gets destroyed, countries start to bicker, war breaks out....maybe Bin Laden just wants to get out of his cave to see if he has any new messages on Myspace.

Say ahhhh....

I've been going to the dentist a lot lately to correct a lot of problems with my teeth from years of general neglect. I'm not going to lie, there really isn't anything pleasant about going to the dentist. It's not pleasant having to go pretty much every three weeks for the past 3 months. It's not pleasant that I am getting my teeth drilled at 7 AM so I can make it to work at a decent hour. It's not pleasant that I use up my dental insurance for the year before Easter, and still get a bill for 250 dollars. I'm almost used to it though. It's almost like going to work now. I'm never on time, I keep up with the personal lives of everyone that works there, and I am in pain the whole time. Today's "last" cavity drilling was actually worse....

I walked into the office and was greeted by not one but two dental assistants. It seems that there is a new assistant working there and she is training with the usual assistant. Yikes, I thought, this can not be good for me.

I know it's a very assisting thing to do, but why do they get to handle the LONG narrow suction tube? I know I have a sensitive gag reflex but how is keeping my tonsil dry helping with my teeth? My dentist was getting pissed because my tongue kept getting in his way. Well tell Miss Carnival Side Show I am not the sword swallowing guy!! Then she topped it by doing the thing I hate of using that death wand to pinch my lips on my teeth. (Anyone know what I am talking about? They rest the suction thing by the corner of the your mouth but pinch your lips on your teeth while you mouth is open? Anyone?)

I know people can go to beauty school to get free hair cuts from students. Is there some back alley dentist that these people can start off at before they are allowed to brutalize my mouth for 90 minutes? Does anything else think this might be a good idea?

Greatest part of all is that I am done with my cavities and bi-weekly visits to the dentist...just in time for my regular hygiene appointment next month....I hope my dentist appreciates the new boat that I am financing for him....

Spring already?

Like a grumpy bear, I come out of my winter hibernation to update you on things going on. What was so great that it brings me out of hiding, Jack Bauer style, you ask? A little tirade about a little gift called a parking ticket.

Britt went down to Southern California for the weekend to accompany her brother for an audition to possibly attend Long Beach state and visit some relative. Like a good husband, I not only pulled kids duty all weekend, but I also took Monday off because Britt got home at like 3 in the morning Sunday night. So here I was, Monday morning, dropped off Hannah at school, watched the Doodlebops with Sara, read the paper, when I went out to retrieve the trash and recycling bin. And what awaited me when I walked outside? That little slip of paper flapping in the windshield of my car.

I didn't even know there WAS street cleaning on my street, let alone when they are. I looked up and down the street for a sign and found that the nearing sign is three houses away -- in each direction. That's right, I live exactly in the middle of two signs. I didn't even know they were there. (Incidentally, I still don't know when street cleaning day is. It was too far to walk either direction) So the ONE day I stay home was probably the only day of the month that I can't park in front of my own house....Nothing spoils a day off from work than the thought that the first hour or two of work the next day is being spent paying off the stupid parking ticket you got the day before. I'm such a loser....

Surfing the Dial....

I've been a cubicle monkey for a little more than a year now, and even though I still appreciate my quiet desk as oppose to the stupid people known as the general public, sometimes I still have to find some way to help time move along. My co-worker has an XM player that he lets me tap into with a headphone splitter and we go through the various stations looking for new stuff to listen to. Today, we listened to the first round of the Buick Invitational...yes that's right, I listened to golf on the radio. You know, it's worse than you think. I imagined golf on tv, but without the pictures... I don't even get that. Bunch of guys talking golf, the leaderboard every 10 minutes, and occasionally a guy on the course telling you Mickelson just pulled one into the rough. At least the leaderboard updates let me keep up with my fantasy golf team...yes, I play fantasy golf...but that's another post.....

A Mind like a Dali Painting....

Sorry about the lack of post lately. I've been having a lot of Memento moments lately. I would think of something kind of interesting to blog about, but when I sit down at the computer, I wouldn't be able to remember it. (wait, since I already forgot about them, edit the previous part to say, "the most intelligent, profound thoughts to share for the betterment of the world")

If you do not hear from me again though, blame this site I ran across as the last straw to my head exploding....I don't know what it worse, the content or the Ditka endorsement.... I guess we all have rent to pay....

Christmas Bounty II

The other great present I got (I actually got some really nice presents this year) was a new shower head. It's nothing fancy, but what it did for us was to get us to take the showerhead we have now and seeing why we get such crappy water pressure in there. (Britt likes to compare it to having someone spit on you while you soap) So new showerhead was install WITHOUT the low flow regulator (whoever invented that thing needs to be shot....or spat on while soaping) and the first morning I used it, I almost fell over from the new found water pressure. Now if only we can raise that showerhead up a foot (our house was apparently previously inhabited by Oompa Loompas)....

Christmas Bounty

So for Christmas, I got an Xbox 360. I was surprised, to say the least. It was a raffled prized won by Jaim from EA, and I wondered how many places like EA gets hooked up with. Upon opening my new toy, I noticed two strange things. First, I did not receive the Xbox Live headset. Not a huge deal, since I don't have too much interest in getting waxed by a 12 year old at Tiger Woods Golf. Secondly, on my player profile in the system, it said that I had played Call of Duty 2, which, as much as I am interested, I had never played. Very strange indeed.....I hope that some poor, hardworking schmuck at EA didn't get his beloved Xbox raffled off accidentally. If you are missing your Xbox, I uh.....sold mine on eBay. Sorry.

Gambler's Anonymous

Another sign that you might have a gambling problem:

When you hear of another's tragedy, you think to yourself, "How does the affect the spread?"

(Incidentally, it moved a whole 3 points. But I'll let you continue to watch me get struck by lightning)

Hooked on Phonics

Hannah is a pretty smart kid. She supposedly is around the top of her class and she loves to read everything in sight. So I am in no way laughing AT her. She probably can read more than I could have when I was her age (actually considering that I was still living in Hong Kong when I was her age, chances are pretty dang good that she is more advanced than I was). English being a messed up language, funny things come up. She was walking around a shopping plaza when she pointed out the ups store, that was cute. The best was when she was going over her reading list with Brittany and asking what the word was after "come on."

"Come on?" my wife asked, "What 'come on?'"

"You know, the word after 'come on'!"

"You mean, 'common'?"

"Oh, yeah. Common..."

Cute....

The Funnies

I used to love Dilbert. I don't read Dilbert everyday like I used to, but I was browsing the paper today and I think this might be the funniest comic strip in the history of comic strips (at least when it comes to my humor). I hope I haven't hyped it up too much....

American Entrepreneurs

Who says people aren't ambitious anymore?

Had Chinese food recently with my family and came across this fortune in my cookie...



Freaking hilarious...

Random Picture of My Kids II

...Or rather, of my kids at play. If you have seen them at play, you would how their room can be turned upside down in a matter of seconds. Apparently, amidst the chaos, there is some law and order...or at least some quality spelling of a 5 year old....

Happy Halloween!

So for Halloween, we had a party. We always try to get people to dress up, with mixed results. My wife was supportive and dressed up, with the Halloween theme and everything...


(For the records, it is not a condom, a go-go dancer, or "an ugly dress and I just thought you had bad taste." It's a candy corn dress. Apparently some of our friends are either drunks or are just idiots)

My kids were all involved, of course. They even had two costumes to switch depending on the occasion....


(No no, Tigger and Nala, not Winnie the Pooh....I swear, next year I am just having a name tag party)

I really wanted to dress up, I swear. I looked everywhere with my family but I just didn't find anything that I liked and wasn't too expensive...so I just blended in with those that were in costume.


(I have never seen nor read any Harry Potter....can't I be one of the wizard kid's lame normal friend? Is there such a role?)

So the party still went well. The turnout was great and that's the most important thing...wait, the food. The food is the most important thing....


(Right, Tim?)

Cubicle Monkeys

I've never really had a real office job before my current endeavor. While I enjoyed the humor of Dilbert and watched Office Space countless times, I never really experience the oddities of "the life." My job, for example, is really pushing paper to and fro as I send out summons to defendants in cases to let them know they are being sued. I am, for all intent and purposes, a "paper pusher." Not exactly what I would put on my resume, but that is the reality.

If you have watched Office Space, you no doubt know about the crazy memos that gets put out there for just about everything. I got an e-mail from our Facilities Department the other day that I would like to share:

Subject: Screwing around with...

...the coffeepot lid. Yes friends, someone has been unscrewing the tops of the coffeepot lids in the break room. This could, and has, lead to unsuspecting cofffeepot pourers spilling hot coffee on themselves.

Please keep in mind:

1. Do NOT unscrew a coffeepot lid to put brewed coffee in it. (There is a neat little special opening that allows the brewed coffee to flow in without unscrewing the lid.)
2. Do NOT unscrew a coffeepot lid to pour coffee.
3. DO unscrew a coffeepot lid to clean the coffee pot.
4. If you do unscrew a coffeepot lid BE SURE you put it back tightly.

Also please do not put just your cup under the brewer to "save time." It does not work. It just makes a big mess.

Thanks
Facilities Dept.


Don't get memos like that working the beat.

That's my wife, folks.

My wife went with Hannah's class on a field trip to the Animal Rescue Foundation (started by Tony LaRussa, while he was in Oakland, in case you...er...cared). She said it was cool and that she even got to ride on a yellow school bus, although she had to endure the kids singing "The Wheel on Bus" approximately 40 millions times. She also said that she would like the meet the guy that wrote that song and, and I quote, "rape his skull".....apparently that's from a movie, but I'm sleeping with my skull firmly secured inside my head tonight.

The End of Summer

Went to the Giants game when Barry hit 704, courtesy of work...Good times...good to see renewed energy at the Phone Booth again...although it was my first Dodger game in a while and I was expecting a little more energy. Ah well, in this season full of slings and arrows, it was a good time. And I broke my losing streak, with another walk-off single for the fans to go home happy. Probably my last Giants game of the year, and I didn't even have any garlic fries.

So a week later I ended up at an A's game. Fireworks night (like the 4th one from the A's this year. Nothing like some explosives to attract the fans of the Green and Gold) was a good way to bring the kids one last time (like they haven't turned into A's fans enough as it is, courtesy of all them two dollar days..."Let's go Oak-Land!" chants are popular around my household). As it turns out, work came through again and I was awarded two lower level seats, owned by Mr. Al Brayton himself. I already had six tickets in the upper level for the pyrotechnics extravaganza, of course, so I invited my sister and Chris to take two of the upper level tickets while Tim and I sat about 20 rows from the field. Sure it was weird to look up and see your Winnie the Pooh clad daughter up in the nosebleeds, but I think my wife didn't mind me being a Teixeira home run away for nine innings, as long as I came back to her for the fireworks (the post game ones of course. Our private fireworks were later). The game was ok, but the real star was the fireworks show. I have seen enough ballpark fireworks to know that it is usually a pretty good effort, but we were all dazzled at all the never before seen stuff that night. How many ways can you possible blow up technicolored bottled rockets, you ask? Well all I have to tell you was that I saw fireworks that was a cube....a cube, for all you geeks out there, is pretty cool at a fireworks show. McAfee Stadium is still the sight of some of the scariest fireworks show I have ever seen (some looked like they were set off from the roof my car), but I would take that over a crowded 4th of July or even a Michael Bay production any old day.

Random Picture of My Kids I

I love Dave Chappelle. I will miss the Chappelle Show. My daughter will miss Tyrone Biggums...but likes powder donuts.

The Thrill of Victory

Back to back games, but we were ready. We had beat this team before and we were playing the best ball all season. It was an early start, there would be no 12-run rule, and no time limit. Seven innings between us and the nicest championship t-shirts you can't buy. I took the mound again and we were running on all cylinders to start. Three quick runs in the first for us and we kept scoring. I had a shutout through three innings and we were up 9-0. I then lost the plate for a few batters and and gave up a few runs...my team bailed me out though when we scored again...and again..again. When have you scored enough in a softball game? Probably when the other team yells at you for sending the runners on every hit...so we run the bases aggressively, big deal? Anyway we won by a somewhat lobsided score (I can't remember exactly again. They were pretty mad, and they didn't bother playing the last inning), and I am the proud owner of a 2005 Novato Softball Champion t-shirt. I've never been part of a champion team before, I can get used to it. I'll miss just playing more though. It's been a great summer...Is there like a flag football league we can join next?

On the cusp of winning it all....

Of course I sneaked that softball post in yesterday because I had a game today. Playoff started and I took the hill again. We started with a difficult first inning and got out of it after three runs and a controversial call that went our way. Tied after one, we stalled in the second and broke out with 10 runs in the third. We added a few here and there, made some fine defensive plays, danced around a few hits, and we prevailed 15-5...or something like that. I came up with a new strategy with my pitching: concentrate on the girls. No offense but it's never a good idea to give up a walk to a girl. They just make the hits that inevitably come that much more costly. It's coed softball, people will score...anyway, I have to put my arm on ice, and get ready for the Big Game tomorrow night. Go Inlaws!

Are you ready for some FFL?

In honor of football season, and inspired by the Mad Cal himself, I like to introduce my about to be champions fantasy football team:

QB B. Leftwich
RB J. Lewis
RB L. Jordan
WR R. Moss
WR A. Johnson
TE R. McMichael
Def Bears
K J. Elam
RB T. Jones
WR T. Houshmandzadeh
WR A. Toomer
QB J. Harrington
WR D. Stallworth
RB M. Shipp
TE B. Troupe
K S. Graham

I took some risk with younger guys that I think will break out, and I hate to be rooting against J.J. Arrington in Arizona, but hey, a winner's a winner.

Dog Days of Softball....

A quick look to see what's sitting in the draft folder....

I made my starting pitching debut at our last regular season game. It started out worrisome as I arrived early and found the other Brayton squad taking batting practice because their opponent forfeited again. Thinking I might get some pitching action I volunteered to toss them a few. Then I found that I still thought the plate was 6 inches closer than it actually was. Everything was consistently short and it was getting bad. Then the guys just two steps forward and adjusted, leading up to a liner right back up the middle and off my right arm. That hurted for a good long while and I was done helping them out.

I guess it might of loosened my arm though as I did get the call and pitched pretty well. My philosophy in softball pitching is just throw strikes and let my defense do the work. I even got three strikeouts (two looking) and ended the game by catching a familiar liner up the middle. We won 24-12, and we are off to the semi-finals, two wins away from the crown.

The Streak Continues (or New Beginnings)

So I was caught up in the hype and caught the Gigantes-Boulders game Monday night, the debut of golden boy Matt Cain. I wanted to see for myself all the hype and I certainly want to see it well. I browsed Craig's List and found a pair of Field Club seats for 75 bucks. I called it a bargain so I went for it. It took a while to find someone available to go (Tim really needs to quit that loser job), but I found someone that enjoys the hype of the young phenom as much as I do (hey he's a Twins fan. Every Tuesday is new phenom night). So I ventured into the world of luxurious baseball watching....

- So the cool thing about the field club (other than being close enough to spit at the players) is the separate entrance. No being herded like cattles for us. In fact, when you first enter, there is this whole eating area -- with no lines! I felt guilty not getting any food (I pretty much shattered my meager budget this week on the tickets) and taking advantage...leaving after the game was even better. Twenty thousand people leaving at the same time, but I walked right out. That was worth admission already.

- Crazy thing about cozy seats, they are all pretty much owned by season ticket owners. You sit there and everyone around you greets one another by their first name, ushers come by and ask about work today, and most of them leave after six or seven innings and tell each other that they will see them tomorrow night...they would have totally sold me out if I spit at Todd Helton.

- Hey anyone knows what they play in the bathroom before the game starts? I know they radio broadcast comes on during the game ... So I went to the bathroom about 10 minutes before game time. The bathroom looked like a slightly bigger version of my bathroom at home, minus the shower, the scale, and the feminine hygeine products. I was just getting down to business when I hear Renel (voice of the Giants...and old school R & B) come over the speakers, telling me that it was Scout Night and Troop whatever the heck would be presenting the colors during the National Anthem...Does anyone know the rule for the national anthem while in the urinal? Is it more offending to not take off my cap or to splash all over the place while the bombs burst in the air? (metaphorically speaking) Can anyone help me out here?

- By the way, the Giants lost, and I don't think anyone really cared. We all felt bad that Matt Cain didn't get a win for a decent pitching performance, but we were happy to just have seen the Next Big Thing do his stuff...Plus he made fans of us one at a time getting about 84 foul balls into the stands.

- Byung Hyun Kim swinging a bat is funny.....Byung Hyun Kim doing a pirouette while batting is freaking hilarious.

Kids Can Be So Profound

I was drinking a 7-Up earlier today when Hannah asked me:

"Did you get that from 7-11?"

Reminds me of 1994

Flipping channels between innings of the Giants-Cards game, I found music videos playing on both MTV and VH1. I can't even tell even tell you the last time I saw a video on one of those channels. But while admiring the...er...vocal talents of Rihanna, I missed Ray Durham's shot off of my fantasy ace, Chris Carpenter. Good thing Tivo was backing me up with the recording....

Look What the Late Night Santa Brought Me...

What would you say if I told you my parents got me a Magic Bullet? ..... ...... ...... Ok, get your head out of the gutter now. Of course, for those of you late night infomercial viewers, you know what The Magic Bullet is. Basically a portable blender/food processor, it supposedly makes cooking faster and easier. I don't really know what I am going to do with it. I'll let you know over at my other blog home when I come up with something....

The Long Winding Season

So I figured everyone is bored about hearing about my softball season, but at the same time I feel compelled to at least keep it up to date so no one would be left hanging... We've played two games since our last game (a forfeit win) and our slide continues with two losses. Personally though I've had two milestones. The first game was my debut at managing with a short staff. There was apparently some sort of company golf thing that took our team's best players so I was left juggling the lineup myself. Because of an injury, I didn't even play out there. It was hard to just watch; I am not ready to give up my playing days and go the route of Jeff Tedford, Larry Brown, or Bob Melvin (all average players who are pretty good coaches). Our juggled line up was rough from the get go when we were down 12-0 after one inning. We bounced back and made it 12-9 after two, and took the lead at 14-13 after three. After getting a rally snuffed out at the top of the inning, our defense failed us again when we gave up 6 runs in the bottom of the inning. We couldn't even do it efficiently as time ran out and the game was over.

Three nights later out Brayton rematch was set. The weather was perfect this time and we were all anxiously awaiting a good game. Pitching did us in this time as numerous walks made the hits that we did give up all the more costly. The last inning, when we were down 16-10, I made my debut at pitcher. I wasn't trying to do anything fancy, just throw strikes and hope my defense can take care of business. It went ok, I gave up a long shot to right center (can't believe someone took me opposite field) for a two run home run but that was it. That plate is a lot father than I thought and the pitches I missed were all short. We rallied for 4 runs and had the winning run at first (me) when my wife of all people had the hardest ball she had ever hit caught for the final out. Technically I guess I took the lost but I think I moved up the depth charts at pitcher. One more regular season game and I might be making my starting debut... tickets still available.

Commercials Killed the Radio Star

Since I am technologically hindered lately, let's talk about classic innovations... Now that I sit in an office all day long, I listen to a lot of radio. I don't really like having headphones on all the time. Besides the fact that you can't hear people walk up to you and you wind up jumping out of your seat and looking like an idiot when someone taps you on the shoulder, I just don't like being tied to a radio or even an iPod (maybe I'm afraid the cords will choke me). So I just listen to whatever my office mates listen to on the radio we all share. I am reminded of the down side of long term listening to radio stations -- The songs, and especially the commercials, just repeats all day long. I think I can stand Gwen Stefani's "Hollerback Girl" 6 times in 8 hours (she really sold out for this song, and after 7000 times through, I still am not sure what she is talking about...and why she suddenly starts to spell bananas. Is there a follow up song where she teaches today's youth how to spell Mississippi?), but the commercials drives me nuts. Commercials for TV shows and movies are the worse offenders. EVERY commercial break I would hear about the very special episode of The OC on tonight, and if I hear about Deuce Bigalow's European Adventures again, I will hurl (I'm guessing Deuce Bigalow 3: Thailand Whore will be a big hit as well). Do they have Tivo for the radio?

On the flip side (can you believe how long I can talk about radio commercials?), the best commercials on radio has got to be the Bud Light Real Men of Genius series. Hilarious. I think I like the Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer or the Mr. Mail Order Bride Orderer best. The background singers totally make the commercials.

Next time: An enlightening discussion on the benefits of the fax machine.

Pardon the Interruption

Aside from my usual laziness, the lack of posts lately is related to the fact that my desktop's power supply went kaput recently. For those of you scoring at home, this would be the second power supply that my computer has burned through. The rest of the computer is on its last legs anyway, but I can't get anything better yet, and all my docs and music and most importantly, my pictures are on that computer (in a secondary drive, should this power supply thing kill off the primary drive). Which is why I haven't posted. There are post in the pipeline, but I had planned some visual aids and I can't get to right now....I bought a new power supply yesterday and I'll tackle it tonight...In the meantime, I'll try to paint some visual pictures with words (like the good old days) on some other topics...as soon as I come up with something....

Talk about anti-climatic

There's a softball team out there that owes me 3 dollars. I've waited all week to avenge our painful lost, went home to round up the wife the kids because we have the late 8:20 game again, only to find a half softball team waiting for us...Bam, forfeit, we win 7-0 (don't ask me why we get seven runs in a forfeit). We lent them a player and played a few innings for the heck of it, schoolyard style (the ump was a little TOO eager to go home and left us). Talk about unsatisfying. I fought traffic twice to not play. To top it off, I got to play third base, and STILL had no balls hit to me. What a rip...

TV pick

Here's my Tivo nugget of the week. Why was The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas on the Sci-Fi channel? I think Zach said it best..."That's like The Jetsons being on the History Channel."

Pillow Talk

My wife said I needed to buy new pillows. Aside from not supporting the neck like it used to, it was definitely yellower than I remember it once was. (it reminded me of 5824's hand towel, really) So with a sale at my local Target, I picked up two extra firm pillows...I didn't really realize there was an adjustment period to pillows, but I haven't slept a whole night straight since I got those things. Sure my head stays cleaner, but boy am I tired....

The A's We Ain't

Playing in a coed softball league, one should go in with low expectations. Maybe it was the 4-0 start we jumped out to, but I was feeling pretty good about my team's chances. Now we are 4-2 and I am spending too many hours at work wondering how we can tweak the defensive alignments. I still think I am ok with losing, if it was normal losing. We have lost leads of 11-0 and 10-1, and I don't think I have to tell you -- it sucks. The streak ends Friday, because either we win one, or I will become so unproductive at work I will be fired.

On a related note, Britt played the whole game at catcher because we were short one girl. It works out in a funny way. My wife gets more playing time than I do on my company team. Go figure.

Tivo Phone Home

I've had Tivo for about two weeks now, and it is great. We got a reconditioned box in exchange for paying for one year's service (A deal that has since expired. I'll try and alert you of deals while they are still good next time). Of course, I am watching a lot more tv, which I haven't decided if it is a good thing yet. I at least don't have to fight with the girls as much over the tv. Now I can watch Family Guy and Good Eats at my own convenience, but the best part is finding the gems that come on when no one should be watching tv. I mean really, who knew Bosom Buddies come on the weekends at 6AM on TBS?

(Incidentally, BosomBuddies.com is a site full of informative breastfeeding info. Just thought you should know)

Alan at bat...

Our softball league hit the tough part of the schedule today with a double header against the other undefeated team in the league. (I guess an update would be needed. After the first freezing game, it was the Brayton vs. Brayton match in a 100mph dust storm while staring into the sun. That was followed by the first pleasant weather game where I finally got comfortable and got a hit on my fifth at bat of the year...ok, you're all caught up) So the elements at Indian Valley College continue to insist on being a part of our league as the 11th team. It must've been at least a hundred degrees out there with not a lick of shade out to be found. We tried to save our strength by enacting the 12 run rule on the other team. But two games in the heat was rough. We were up 11-0 in the second game when the wheels came off. We lost in the last at bat 12-11. I think I would have been more shocked if I wasn't suffering from heat exhaustion. With more boys than girls I only got four at bats in two games, but I got a hit on all of them. Still in first place and our team is really settling in with contributions from everyone (oh, and Britt is getting playing time too filling in when we are short girls), I think we will challenge for the crown this year.

Good TV

SD_11
Originally uploaded by geetargeek.

I think currently, my favorite show on TV is family. I LOVE the left field humor. I can certainly understand how it might be too weird for some, but I love how edgey they are without resorting to potty humor all the time (unlike a show like South Park). Stewie rocks!

Play ball!

So my softball season kicked off the other night. My work had so many that wanted to play that we are fielding two teams in this league. My team took a lay back approach and went into our first game totally unprepared (we had one meeting to discuss whether we wanted to sprung for shirts). The plan started off well enough when we scored 10 runs in the first inning. Then we found out that our offense will have to carry us over the hump that is defense and pitching. After a heart attack of a last inning, we held on to win 26-24 (not a typo). Personally, I was 0 for 1 with a walk and two runs score. I was definitely rusty and I really have to get used to funky softball rules and strategies, but felt ok about my performance. Next game isn't until next Friday when the two Brayton <> Purcell teams go head to head. Hopefully playing conditions won't be so Candlestick like for that one...

Lucky Guy...

I always knew I was blessed with a wonderful wife, but sometimes she exceeds all expectations. After our successful vacation, she tells me that we should schedule all of our future vacations around baseball parks around the country...God bless that woman.

Vacation Top Ten

I was going to give a play by play of my vacation in San Diego, but I figured that you'd want to read all that as much as you'd want to watch the slide show version of my vacation (or my home video of Hannah's kindergarten graduation). So I'll give you a quick review, in a well organized, somewhat ripped off, and hopefully amusing top ten list:

Top Ten Things I learned while in San Diego:

1) If you think you are escaping bad weather with a vacation, if will invariably follow you.



I couldn't believe it was raining at home when we left...I couldn't believe we didn't see a lick of sun while we were in San Diego. After flying over the above clouds, it decided to follow us the rest of the weekend. I've ran into stray puppies that aren't so loyal.

2) Lil John's singing vocabulary is very limited.

One of the neat things about traveling is scanning the choice of radio stations. We pretty much went with Z90 90.3 FM ("Where hip hop lives"). I first noticed that Lil John is a very prolific producer because practically every other song is a Lil John production. This also means that we heard his "contributions" just as often. Unfortunately, this really only includes either "Yeah!" "All Right!" or "Okay!". A thesaurus apparently does not exist in the world of crunk...

3) SoCal people love their malls.

Does this come as a surprised to anyone? There are lots of malls in San Diego. They are basically like the malls you know, just outdoors. There are food courts upstairs, there are little carts selling you cell phones. Just substitute your "Anne's Plus Size Boutique" and two of the shoe stores with an Armani Exchange and Abercrombie and Fitch and it's just like home...

4) I do not have a curse the home team at baseball games.



I was beginning to wonder, after my three game losing streak at SBC. So on Thursday afternoon we visited Petco Park for an afternoon matinee between the Pads and the Indians. I like the park. It's more a part of downtown than SBC and the little quirks are cool...It would have been better if it wasn't cloudy and sprinkly (see #1). And the Padres won...all those people around me cheering like mad...I had forgotten what that was like...

5) There is such a thing as too much nature.



Friday was spent at the world famous San Diego Zoo. The place is really big, with some of the steepest walkways I have ever seen in a civilized setting (who decided to build a zoo in a canyon?). The kids loved seeing the animals up close. There was about a 45 minute stretch, however, where every animal we saw decided it was time to urinate... "Look! A giraffe....ewww." "Look! An antelope.....whoa..." "Look! An elephant.....holy @%!$#!"

6) 12 Hooter Girls fit in a hula hoop.



Friday was also my birthday. My wife thought Hooters would be a good place to have dinner (God bless that woman). It was the liveliest Hooters I had ever been too. There were dance numbers, a girl poured beer while hanging upside down on a trapeze, and the above girls in hula hoops...Although if it was my birthday, why was my wife surrounded by hot chicks and not me?

7) Taxi drivers are out to take every last cent you have.

We only rented a car for a few days before my sister and Chris came down with the van. When I returned the rental, I figured I'll just take a cab back to the hotel. It wasn't even 10 miles back and it would be way easier and closer than public transportation. Well the meter reading $23.40 was a darn good reason to learn the public transportation system well. It happened to be all the cash I had at the moment. I thought I was being charged by the mile. I swear I saw that meter move while we were at a red light. What's up with that? Bad people....

8) Dumb people are rapidly taking over the world.



Again, probably does not surprise you. The prize for dumbest thing I heard while in San Diego goes to the lady at Balboa Park. We were looking at the botanical garden building and the above lily pond in front with many koi fishes when she said:

"They just look like big goldfishes to me."

9) Graduations are nothing but people sitting around for 4 hours for 10 seconds of excitement.



And that is if your particular graduate is a slow walker or trips on the stage. The whole reason for our trip was my cousin's graduation. I thought maybe he is graduating with others with the same major...nope. Okay, maybe it's grouped by colleges of similar majors...nope. I heard there were about 700 graduates with totally unrelated majors at this graduation. What sense does this make? Why would they still decide to have TWO class speakers in addition to all the chancellors and provost and janitors speaking ahead of them? What a cruel things to do to parents who have already given their savings to these schools just to see their child walk across the stage in a robe for a paper. Lots of people do that every morning...

And finally...10) Kids CAN sit in a car for 11 hours and not drive others to suicide.

I couldn't believe it either, but my kids sat through unexplained traffic in LA, fields of nothing along I-5, smelly cows awaiting slaughter, and numerous dirty bathrooms in even dirtier gas stations without any complaint. The trip back, while long, was pretty pleasant...I'm am still awaiting word from the aliens on the whereabouts of my real children.

The verdict is in...

So Michael Jackson gets to be the King of Pop for 4 more years....Prince will vie for the title in 2009.

Vacation time!

So I am about to be off for a weekend in San Diego. Airplane travel with two small children, then really tempt fate by driving back with two small children. Enjoy my clean up of unfinished posts. Wish me luck.

Two and half day work weeks rock!

Monday, Thursday, and a half day Friday...That is how I am thinking about this week. Woohoo!

Night out on the Town

Ronald McDonald and Grimace in SF
Originally uploaded by Alanmine.

We celebrated our 6th anniversary Friday with an evening without the kids (really all we can ask for nowadays). It was fun, real casual time together. We first had dinner at Bay Street Plaza in Emeryville and hung out there window shopping. We then headed out into San Francisco where we roamed around North Beach looking for coffee in big soup bowls. While roaming, we ran into...Ronald McDonald? Walking down Broadway with a cameraman was Ronald McDonald, The Hamburlgar, and Grimace. We followed and were hoping they would walk into a strip joint. They just wander though and we lost interest. Had to take a picture though, no one would believe it....

Baseball News Flash

The Giants didn't lose today! (You take what you can get)

Cherry Picking

On Memorial Day we decided to take the kids cherry picking. I have a lot of memories as a kid going with my family on these fruit picking trips...Those memories are still pretty much true. The place is filled with Asian families...but I am getting ahead of myself. My parents saw an ad in the Chinese newspaper of a place in Fairfield. We decided to try that since it's closer than the Brentwood orchards that we used to go to... boy was that a mistake. That place is the biggest rip off ever. They charge by the person instead of just what you pick. It would have been 40 bucks just to get all of us and the kids in... So off to Brentwood from there we went.



I was surprised that we even made it there. As we got closer and closer, my parents just kept talking about how much more the area has developed since the last time we have been there. Yet somehow, after a few questionable turns, we made it (sure there are like 30 orchards in the area, but it's not like the highway dead ends into one). Two dollars a pound, all you can pick. Two lessons learned here:

- Little kids will eat cherries off a tree until they get the runs...for a week.

- They ask you to sign a waiver before you go in for a reason...My dad lost his footing on a tree and fell completely out...Not slipped off, but fell out, landing on your side.

Good Times.

Take me out to the ball game...

Charlie Brown Day at SBC
Originally uploaded by Alanmine.

I had the pleasure of going to two Giants game in a row. One has been planned for a while, the other was a last minute thing. On Friday, work was giving out bleachers tickets. I didn't make the first cut of the ticket drawing, but some of the tickets were returned because people can't make it so I got one. I hadn't actually sat in the bleachers in a long time - I've been spoiled by the luxurious club level and lower level seating lately. It was good time, I hadn't really spent a lot of time outside of work with my co-workers, and it was fun to see them in a more relaxed (and alcoholic) environment. The game sucked though. The Giants were never in it and Brian Lawrence didn't even break a sweat. I had the feeling it wasn't going to get much better the next day...

And I was mostly right. It started ominously as the whole reason for heading out there was because my sister saw that it was Charlie Brown Bobblehead day. It was only to the first 10,000 fans 14 and under so my kids were enlisted for duty. I even got a ticket for Hannah to make getting the bobblehead more legit....so I should've known when the usher didn't even look in Sara's direction when she went through the gate. Totally ignored her. I walked up to another usher and told him that my daughter didn't get one and he told me that coming through the gate was her one and only chance...jerks. We settled in to see the Giants at least tease us with SOME clutch hitting only to see the bullpen fall apart. Great. I have a 1-3 record at SBC this year. This might be the first year in a long time that has happened. I am hoping I can put a stop to the voodoo by attending the even worse A's and D-Rays game on Two Dollar Wednesday. Go....er... B.J Upton?

When the heat goes out...

(The next few post might be out of order since I have a few on draft status waiting to be finished... I have a short attention span, what can I say?)

Britt was baking cookies today while I was making dinner when the oven was all of a sudden...not hot. My oven of all things gave out today. The burner works fine, so dinner went well (see other blog shortly). At least I can maybe still catch those Memorial Day sales tomorrow, huh? ... If anyone is interested in some peanut butter cookie dough, I have quite a bit to spare....

Return to Sender....

No one likes junk mail, but sometimes they are amusing - both in content and in origin...you ever wonder how you get on certain mailing lists? I know your name and address just gets sold like cheap t-shirts outside sports stadiums, but how many issues of tattoo Weekly do you need to get before they get the message that piercings are really your thing? ... I still get the occasional mail at my parents house even though I haven't lived there for almost a year. I went over the other day and saw a Frederick's catalog laying around and figured that it was for Britt. I picked it up to make sure it wasn't to my mom's (a very quick, sickening thought, by the way) and the addressee was one...Hannah Kwong.....Is my five year old ordering things without telling me? Is there a lot of things she isn't telling me? Does the Disney corporation own more businesses than I thought? I'd rather see things mailed to a dead guy than a lingerie catalog to a five year old girl......grrr.....

Bay to Breakers

I guess I could have posted sooner since it happened almost a week ago, but I've been recovering... So it's Bay to Breaker time again, my third time, and still no costume. I think I do it every year for two reasons: an excuse to convince myself to exercise in preparation, and to see the more "colorful" side of the Bay Area...By no means do "colorful" mean naked, of course... I hadn't decided if I was going to be running or walking with my wife this year until we got there. I guess seeing all the people running by kind of inspired me. I was off for a good pace for a while there. Then the Hayes street hill hit and reality set in. With about two blocks left up the hill, I was pretty much done...which brings me back to the naked guys. I have to hand it to them, they really helped me get through it. Whenever I started to get tired and started to walk, I would see the backside of one of them and be motivated to run past them. They kept coming and I kept running. Two hours and two minutes later, I was at the Great Highway standing between a taco and Tinkerbell.

There was a whole thing about not finding my wife and friends for two hours while she was taking a picture with a naked guy, but that's another story. Anyway it was fun. I recommend it for anyone for the experience. But please, a stupid costume is preferred over no clothing.

The Talented Ms. Sara...

Sara was in rare form yesterday. First, she went into the bathroom and put hand soap all over her hair. Then she took her bag of pretzel into her room and smashed them one by one with her Bob the Builder hammer. I don't know which was worse...

Siete de Mayo

A follow up to my last post:

- The Company picnic went off nicely. The sun even made an appearance. I brought my mitt and played catch for a while, and a pick up game of touch football took place (I didn't play). There was a raffle for things ranging from $10 gift certificates to Extreme Pizza to the coveted $100 gift card at Target. I did not win any of that stuff. At 2pm, I promptly went home to get ready for the baseball game.

- The Giants-Nats game was pretty much a case of bad to worse. We had pizza beforehand and took a stroll through SBC Park since my co-worker's nephew came along and had never been to SBC before (he is a Dodgers fan of all things. He wore a Dodgers hat and a Piazza Mets jersey. Bad omen #1). We were pretty early and somewhere while watching batting practice, my voice decided to take a vacation. I got more and more hoarse, until I just couldn't talk. I wasn't even heckling. I can't talk right now. This is now my only venue for communicating with the world. Stay tune...

- Then there was the game. The most exciting thing was the fireworks at the end of the game. I don't know what's worse, the Giant's lack of clutch hitting or the pitching staff that likes to give up two out RBIs.

- Forecast still calls for rain tomorrow for my barbecue. We'll see if this weekend gets any better......

Cinco de Mayo

As I type this, I am watching a news report on TV of a riot going on about a mile from my house. Apparently, tequila and Coronas beat out green beer on the ethnic partying scale. I also learned that both St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo are more Americanized holidays than anything else. In their native countries, the people don't really give a hoot.

This week started out looking like it was going to be good, but unfortunately...

- I've been sick for the past few days. I think I shared it with Sara, but she is a lot better while I am not. I think it's a chest cold or something, but I'm never sure because I am not sick very often...

- It's kind of a short week at work this week. Friday is Employee Appreciation day and we are having a catered lunch (turns out it's salads from Fresh Choice and cold cut platters from Costco - whoopee). The threat of rain might move this from a nearby park to the cramp break room at work...bummer.

- Most people at work are also speculating that we get to leave work early after this lunch. The chances also decrease if we are still at the office...

- A co-worker invited me to the Giants-Nationals game tomorrow night. Fireworks night AND KNBR night...threat of rain puts all of this in jeopardy as well...

- After much debate, we decided to celebrate Mother's Day with our first barbecue of the season...it is also expected to rain on Sunday.

I'll go with April showers, but this May...er...storms is ruining a perfectly good week.

In related news, the weather just pleasant for rioting. Bring your own rocks and bottles...

More of my kid's amazing talents...

For those of you that have had the pleasure of meeting my kids, you know that like most kids they love to play. They both also have great imaginations. I have told you of how Hannah talks a lot while on the toilet, but they both also have conversations with just about anything. All their dolls come to life in their room, as seen here when Hannah got a new Little Person and arranged a getting-to-know-you party with her other Little People.



Meal times turn into social hour when they start talking to their forks, coloring time is halted when crayons starts to talk to each other, and my personal favorite, while in the car seat, Sara takes off her socks and shoes so they can talk to each other. You have not lived until you've seen a sock and a shoe have a conversation.


A picture is worth about 232 words...

Well my time without a camera didn't last long. My kids were going to stop being cute so I had to move fast. I decided that I liked the "ultracompact" variety for its convenience to carry around. Britt really wanted a bigger LCD screen to help her frame the pictures. My sister thought I should get a different brand for better picture quality. (Really, why wouldn't that be on the top of everyone's list? Who gets a camera that takes crappy pictures but has great zoom? or because its cool looking? It's a camera. You want one to take pictures of stuff...I don't get it)
So it's so long to the Minolta Dimage X and hello to the Canon Elph SD400. There is a longer story of how I actually decided on the SD300 but I had a 10 percent off coupon for Target along with Britt's employee discount but Target only had the SD400 so it ended up being around the same price of the SD300 but I won't go into it (Wait, that's pretty much the story).

It's hard to show off the camera with pictures...since I would be holding the camera. So here's a picture of my dirty mirror (and apparently I was in the middle of dressing myself. Or starting a new fashion trend). Of course, lots of pictures of my kids are sure to follow...

I Love this Game

So the baseball season is about two weeks old and I already couldn't stand it anymore and had to go to a game. I saw that the D-Backs series was mid week and figured I could find some cheap ticket from someone who didn't want to go. I let Wednesday go by but with the Schmidt-Ortiz match up on Thursday, I just had to find a way there. I checked Craigslist Thursday morning and found a pair of club level tickets with a parking pass for 90 bucks so I went for it.

I called my friend Tim who I go to games with a lot and is a Schmidt fan. He punked out on me though with some work excuse. I tried a few other people and no one could make it. I couldn't believe it, I was about to be stuck with a 45 dollar ticket. My wife was going to spend the day with her family while I was gone but I called her and asked if she could come back and go to the game with me. (Hey I love going to baseball games with my wife, she wasn't on my initial list of person to ask because she was set on going to see her family when I told her I wanted togo to the game) I asked my parents to watch the kids and all of a sudden I had a cozy date with my wife.

I tried to leave work as soon as I could but I ended up leaving five minutes late. Traffic was actually pretty good to the Golden Gate but as I hit the span an electronic sign came on with, "STALL ON BRIDGE. USE CAUTION." I could not believe it. I was stuck on the bridge for a good twenty minutes before I got up to see the tow truck working with a motorcycle...A motorcycle???? Someone could not have just picked the thing up and moved it aside? Anyway I winded through the city and picked up the tickets (at least he was near the park), pulled into parking lot A (by the clydesdales, who are on tour through the country), met my wife coming from BART, and settled into our seats on section 223 one pitch into the game.

And what a game it was. Schmidt wasn't real sharp, but he got the job done. Ortiz was typical Ortiz, a ton of pitches, but effective. The struggling Giants offense certainly helped him out too. The game went along pretty briskly without much offense. Britt and I wanted to take advantage of the club level and find something that we can't get in other parts of the park but we settled on fish and chips and Irish nachos. At least we've never had it before and it was reasonably good value for the money. I was hoping for some kind of potatoe skins for the nachos but it was just steak fries and gave me the feeling I was eating chilli cheese fries...

When the game went into extra innings, I had mixed feelings. I always look for games to go long when I am there, it means that it's a good game and I get more game for my money. That night, however, with my kids falling asleep at my parents, I knew I couldn't stay forever. As the innings go by, my wife and I gave each other questioning looks as to how late we are going to stay (incidentally, I was at a Giants-D-Backs game once that went 19 innings. I left that game after 15 innings and they lost). We decided that we would stay for a 14th inning stretch but that was it. Lucky for us, Deivi Cruz has also been sitting for 12 and a half innings and decided that he wanted to go home too. It was awesome, I think I would have been pretty bummed if we lost.

Lastly, and sadly, in all the excitement, my camera fell out of my pocket and took a nasty fall. It still kind of works, but the case pops open and it makes strange sounds. I guess we did get a good 3+ years out of it. I looked on my computer the other day and saw that I had like 5000 pictures on the computer...I am now officially shopping for a new digital camera....

A regular mold mine...

My sister is generally thought of as being more prone to sickness than most people. Her husband Chris (wow, I think the first time I referred to him as such) would call my sister a "petri dish." I love that name (I wonder if she knows...well, she does now)...I think of it now because everyone in my household is currently sick. Hannah has croup, which is basically a viral infection of the larynx. It gives her the nastiest coughs, especially at night. Sara has an ear infection, somewhat common for her age when she gets a cold. Britt has a kind of adult version of croup I guess, cough that hurts her chest, runny nose, and her eye sneezes (Not really a sneeze, I guess. More of a rapid watering of the eye...you have to see it to get it). I am trying to stiff arm all of that the best I can. My throat hurts a little when I swallow (remember those old commercials? "It hurts when I swallow.." with the little girl...chloraseptic I think it was...) but I think I'm ok for now. It was a lot easier when it was just Hannah, more control over what my kid is exposed to. With two kids to swap germs back and forth, one kid bringing germs from school, someone always seems to have something. I'm surprised my sister still comes over to visit...guess my kids are kind of cute after all...

Bar flies...

Remember when ESPN didn't have deals with the major sports and championship lacrosse was a daily event? Then they got access to more popular sports and decided to showcase the Jacks championship on ESPN2.... Are we going back to those days? I saw darts on ESPN2 the other day. Between poker and darts, when are drinking games going to be a televised sport?

(BTW, I saw curling on the other day as well...Was that invented by some old people who was re-enacting their cruise vacation playing shuffleboard to friends back in Maine? Why is it so strangely captivating?)

Taking up space.....

I have been feeling pretty lazy lately. When I have nothing to do, I do just that - nothing. Now while some of you are already thinking, "How's that different than any other day for you, Alan?" I will tell you how it's different. I am too lazy to even do my usual lazy activities. I can play some video games, but I don't. I can be productive and organize my thousands of pictures on my computer, but I don't. Post a funny anecdote on my blog? Too lazy.... It's sad...where was I going with this? I forget...I'm going back to sitting around.....

Happy April Fool's Day!

I am not much of a joker when it comes to April Fools, but I like other people's efforts. My favorite today is the fine folks at Google...Of course I am on a Google phase though. They can come out with Google toilet paper right now and I would use it...incidentally, if you haven't tried Google Maps, you are so missing out. Happy fooling....

...And speaking of jokes...

I was having dinner with my daughters when somehow they started to tell me knock-knock jokes. Now they can't tell them right yet (I like Sara telling me "Knock knock" who's there? "*mumble* *mumble* *mumble*....hahahha") but Hannah surprised me with this exchange:

Hannah: "Knock knock"

Me: "Who's there?"

H: "Joe"

M: "Uh...Joe who?"

H: "Joe Mama...hehe...Joe Papa..."

M: "Who taught you that joke, Hannah?"

H: "Zach..."


Thanks, Zach....

The Science of Cartoons...

My sister was nice enough to stop by and visit after work the other day...ok, she wanted to see the girls, but you know, whatever draws them in...The girls, of course, wanted my sister to either read a book to them or watch cartoons with them. They were watching one of those Disney collection DVDs and I was starting to notice something - You just cannot watch cartoons with my sister. She starts to bring reality into what happens in a cartoon. "Why is that chicken so much bigger than Donald Duck?" "How can he see around the corner like that?" "What kind of animal is Goofy suppose to be?" (ok, that last one was from Stand By Me... How did Jerry O'Connell go from being the fat kid to dating models?? He needs to write a diet book and cash in..)

I don't remember her doing this when we were kids (Of course, Smurfs probably obeyed every law of physics anyway). Wonder how she would handle watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force? "Why is that french fry talking?"

Who needs a personal assistant?

A friend told me the other day that Hannah reminds him of Dakota Fanning. I don't see it. Hannah is too much of a crybaby to compare to the Dakota Fanning's eerily mature persona I see in her movies. Maybe he was thinking of the wrong kid...Sara picked me some toilet paper and deodorant the other day. I think I will have her drive me to work next....

Might as well give him a big 'A' to wear...

I promised myself I wouldn't watch any of that congressional hearing today (good thing I was able to busy myself listening to the NCAA tourney all day) but I saw some highlights on the news and my favorite moment will never be heard on any soundbite. When the congressman asked Mark McGwire whether he wanted to comment on whether he used steroids, he had this dumbstruck expression on the his face and shook his head like a five year old with his hand in the cookie jar. Hillarious!

Raising Hannah...

Call it a public service announcement. Out of all my friends, I am pretty much the only one with kids. Sometimes, I think I am helping them out by giving them a preview of what it will be like for them (if anyone wants to try to change diapers, let me know). Having kids means that you will run into things that would probably never exist in your otherwise well defined, organized life. Kids say strange things (I think I made that point in an earlier post), stick strange things up their nose, and play...strangely. I was putting the kids to bed one night and I found the above sitting on Hannah's bed...I don't even want to know how Big Bird will explain this to his therapist...

Anger Management

Sara has been in an "anger" stage lately. At first, we thought it might have been related to an ear infection that she had (with a subsequent comeback for a while). It appears now though that it just might be all part of being the proverbial 'two.' We can take her clothes and diaper off when she needs to be changed, but you can forget about getting anything back on. Britt can convince her better than I can, but as far as I'm concern, Sara will be wearing a lot of sweats for a while. Even then it's a 10 minute process to get her arm in the sleeves. Kids are surprisingly strong and inflexible when they have the right motivation. Here's hoping that she will be mature for her age and start practicing to be three in a few days....

You talk about "juiced" balls...

House panel issues 11 steroids subpoenas

I can't wait for baseball season. Both because, well, I love baseball, and I am so dang tired of all this steroid talk. I think that people like Jose Canseco is just taking advantage of the time of year. People are so ready for baseball to return that the talk is usually of every little injury and transactions that occurred during the last 4 months. Canseco just gave them something new to talk about. Let's just play ball and worry about executing that squeeze bunt and not who was with who doing what in bathroom stalls...

- First of all, Jose Canseco is an idiot.
- Having said that, Canseco is also everything that everyone is saying about him. Greedy, Self-absorbed, delusional, Angry, and even honest. He can certainly be a jerk and a snitch while telling the truth. I haven't read the book, nor do I plan to. I hope he makes enough money off of all of this, because he is certainly playing his last ace. I hope that money can buy him some friends too....
- So the government is getting involved and will get to the truth for the people....why? What does this have to do with my congressman working for me? Aren't we trying to wrap up a war? Isn't Social Security in trouble? ... When it comes down to it, sports is entertainment. I don't think there is a congressional committee on a fact finding mission to seek out all the fake boobs in Hollywood (not officially anyway). I can understand fans wondering about the hallow records books being tainted (I don't think any asterisks are needed, btw), but what is this suppose to accomplished?
- The truth is, the government does not have any evidence of wrong doing, unless you count Mr. Canseco's book. MLB did not start testing until 2003 (do they still have those samples?). Simply asking some players if they used steroids isn't going to shed any new light on the subject. I think everyone has accepted that players used steroids. So they want to know exactly which players were using and who wasn't? Good luck. Let's try and be more strict, learn a lesson from this, and move on. I'd rather watch Schilling drill A-Rod, and the government can go after the track and field folks. That's where the chemistry labs excel...

TV night....

I say a lot about Scrubs around here so I'll be brief. The last episode was a good example of why the show is great. They take a lot of risk and do a lot of different things that you don't see anywhere else. The fast motion is a little gimmicky, but it's still unique (that episode where they had the laugh track was good too)...and I have a confession to make while I am at it - I don't really like Heather Graham. I don't really have a problem with her so much. I just don't think she is very attractive. Her character is funny though, so it was nice to see her back...

Party like it's....

We had a birthday party yesterday for Sara and it was good. My daughters are still young enough where there really aren't THAT many actual kids around, really just family and friends. We like to have parties at our house, and coming up with good ideas for food and the like. There are certain things we have learned from our parties:

- No matter how many people under the age of 10 are at the parties, having a lot of balloons present will result in all participants to behave like an 8 year old. We always figure that when it's the girl's birthday, having a lot of balloons will make it festive....then everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) starts beating each other senseless with them...and we haven't learned yet.

- Like I said, we try to come up with some good idea or theme for food. Rest assure, though, that our party will always include Chinese food cooked by my parents. People are thankful and tell them how much they enjoy their cooking, but here's the truth: They just want to make sure they have something to eat. Ever since our macaroni and cheese party, they just don't want to go hungry, and are good sharers. The menu for my next party could just be...Chinese food, but that would be no fun.

- I can always count on one of my friends to get my kids something either: loud and has no volume control or off switch, bound to get all messy and on my wall and/or carpet, or oversized clothes from the Roseanne line of clothes from Thrift Town. I cannot wait to exact revenge on them when they have kids...

Parties are still great though and we can't wait until summer to have bbq's in our backyard. I got some tiki torches that I just can't wait to use.

...it even makes julienne fries...

I did something I almost never do on my President's day holiday: I went outlet shopping. I am not really a shopper as it is, and I am usually smart enough to avoid outlets on holidays (not to mention always being poor). I needed some new work clothes though so I trudged out with my wife and sister out to Vacaville. I ended up with one whole shirt that I probably won't wear until it gets warmer, but I did get caught up with the kitchen gadget stores...

Like most people who are just putting together a home, I have all sorts of cheap, hand-me-downs, and other random kitchen supplies. Ever since my recent renaissance in cooking, I decided that any new purchases would be of quality. Anyone that has been in my kitchen knows that nothing exemplifies that better than my knives. Aside from not being sharp, many of them have started to be....rusty. So boy was I excited to get a fancy (German made...there is a joke there but I'm not seeing it) knife. Was it hard to spend 70 bucks on one knife? Absolutely. But I consider the money I would save from having to buy one of those attractive hooks for my hand once I cut it off from the hundredth cutting accidents from a rusty knife made it worth it. I went home just looking for something to cut but we got home too late and I ended up eating at my parents. Finally, I was ready to wield my newly forged metal, a moment I will always remember....

I sliced a croissant to make a sandwich for work.

I know, anticlimactic. I followed that up by slicing a slightly frozen steak for stroganoff the next day, and that was a whole lot more fun. (Btw, that croissant didn't stand a chance either)

The Yeast of all...

After a few months, I think I am still getting used to having a blog. I find myself wondering what to write, like I'm expecting to be reporting on some important world changing event or something. Really, blogs are great because it lets people examine the little things. The little things that might otherwise be ignored and forgotten....but the lost entertainment would be a shame. Like this nugget that happened like a week ago...

I came home the other night from work and had a nice dinner prepared by my wife. My mom called and said that they had made baked pork chop rice and asked if we wanted to come over for dinner (a nice perk, living so close to my parents. Only rarely annoying...so far). I told her we just ate but I'll come take some leftovers to bring to work the next day. So after we cleaned up after dinner I drove over to my parents. I noticed something shiny sitting by rear tire but didn't think too much of it. When I came back 15 minutes later, however, I had to drive by the shiny object to park the car. It looked a lot like a plastic bag...with...a loaf of bread? Sure enough, when I got out, there laid a loaf of bread, sitting between the sidewalk and the rear right tire of my car. I was sure it wasn't there when I got home, so in the hour or so while I was having dinner, someone dropped a loaf of bread by my house...or maybe, divine intervention came and is feeding my poor family (kind of like Jesus feeding the masses with his fish and bread). So like the frugal Chinese guy that I am, I brought the "holy" in and it's currently sitting in my freezer. I figure I have at least a little head start with my holy sandwich than that Virgin Mary Grill Cheese....Holy Tuna, anyone?

Potty mouth...

Little kids are funny. I love to talk to my kids just to hear what comes out of their mouths. And I'm not talking about Bill Cosby's kids say the darnest things. Kids are so imaginative that they don't need some weird adult talking about jello to them. My daughter Hannah does her best monologues...sitting on the toilet. Evertime I walk by she is talking about something...unique. Here is a sample:

"Ducky, you sit there and watch me brush my teeth later."

"Hi Strawberry Shortcake. You brought your family with you today?"

"Ribbit."

No gelatin can make kids say stranger things than that.

I'll stick with Jamba Juice...

I was happily flipping through my ESPN magazine when I ran into the ad for the latest offering from Budweiser. Now I don't really drink beer anyway but it shocked me. The alcohol isn't enough that we have to put caffiene it? Does it come in a can, bottle, or IV form? I can't wait to see Bud Crack......or Bud...well...bud. (low carbs!)...endorsed by Randy Moss...official drink of the NBA....