Monday, October 17, 2005

Cubicle Monkeys

I've never really had a real office job before my current endeavor. While I enjoyed the humor of Dilbert and watched Office Space countless times, I never really experience the oddities of "the life." My job, for example, is really pushing paper to and fro as I send out summons to defendants in cases to let them know they are being sued. I am, for all intent and purposes, a "paper pusher." Not exactly what I would put on my resume, but that is the reality.

If you have watched Office Space, you no doubt know about the crazy memos that gets put out there for just about everything. I got an e-mail from our Facilities Department the other day that I would like to share:

Subject: Screwing around with...

...the coffeepot lid. Yes friends, someone has been unscrewing the tops of the coffeepot lids in the break room. This could, and has, lead to unsuspecting cofffeepot pourers spilling hot coffee on themselves.

Please keep in mind:

1. Do NOT unscrew a coffeepot lid to put brewed coffee in it. (There is a neat little special opening that allows the brewed coffee to flow in without unscrewing the lid.)
2. Do NOT unscrew a coffeepot lid to pour coffee.
3. DO unscrew a coffeepot lid to clean the coffee pot.
4. If you do unscrew a coffeepot lid BE SURE you put it back tightly.

Also please do not put just your cup under the brewer to "save time." It does not work. It just makes a big mess.

Facilities Dept.

Don't get memos like that working the beat.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

That's my wife, folks.

My wife went with Hannah's class on a field trip to the Animal Rescue Foundation (started by Tony LaRussa, while he was in Oakland, in case She said it was cool and that she even got to ride on a yellow school bus, although she had to endure the kids singing "The Wheel on Bus" approximately 40 millions times. She also said that she would like the meet the guy that wrote that song and, and I quote, "rape his skull".....apparently that's from a movie, but I'm sleeping with my skull firmly secured inside my head tonight.