Let them eat bread

I am not a baker. It's too much pressure. Cooking is forgiving. You can skip an ingredient or make some minor substitution and it may not end up being what you started to make, but it will still taste good. When you are baking, almost every ingredient has their specific roles. So if you use the wrong item, or even in the wrong amount, your cookies might taste like cake, your cake might looks like a scone, and your scones just may looks like a cookie....dropped on the ground and stepped on.

"But Alan," you say, "you claimed that you like to cook for the geeky science of it. Baking is where all the science happens!" You're right. If I really am trying to bring out the Alton Brown in me, I must venture into the world of baking... Laziness still comes first, however, so when I caught wind of the No-Knead Bread phenomenon, I knew this was my chance to further my cooking repertoire.

Bread also works for me because so much of the baking world takes place in the land of desserts. I don't have that much of a sweet tooth (heh, try telling that to my dentist) and who wants to make food that you won't really enjoy? Bread-making, however, involves playing with yeast, which seems like entering the baking game at 'Advance'. I can't even keep the whole baking soda/baking powder thing straight, and now I have to grow some gas emitting little spores?? This better be as easy as they claim...




The first great thing going for it: Minimal ingredients! Flour, salt, yeast, and water. So far so good....



Mix all together and you end up with this gloppy mess. I believe the original recipe called it "hairy." Not much work far....



Then it sits....for a long time...this is the key, let the yeast slowly rise and develop the complexity of good bread. I was a little worry since it really should sit somewhere reasonable warm. But it's February at 10pm. Where would it be warm short of taking it to bed with me? The oven seemed like the only way to go. I just have to remember to tell Britt that it's in there in case she decides to preheat the oven for something while I am at work....yikes! ....Off to bed...

The timing of the whole thing is really the trickiest part. You should give it 12, preferably 18 hours to rise. It's pretty much impossible to do this on a weekday and still have it ready for that night's dinner. After much false starts (thanks to some untimely road construction outside my house), I decided to go ahead and just make it whenever I can. I may not eat it that day, but I'll still have fresh bread at home the next day. As luck would have it, we were being treated to Zachary's pizza the next day, so I didn't even need to worry about dinner when I got home. Just open up the oven to be greeted by my growing glop.

I was a little anxious and didn't get a picture of it after the long rise. I took it out and folded the glop once or twice, which turned out to be incredibly sticky. I think I lost a quarter of the bread by leaving it stuck to my hands. But I did the best I could and ended up with this...



After 15 minutes or so, I had to handle the glue dough again and try to form it into a ball before placing it onto a towel that has been floured or in my case, cornmealed. I don't really remember why I have cornmeal at home, so I figured this was a good time to use it. Then covered with another towel (more flour or cornmeal!) and let it rise again for 2 hours. This is where I went to have pizza. Mmmm pizza....



So this was the product that was going into the oven. Mostly round, but the best I could do without just baking my hands with the bread. I then came to my favorite part of the recipe because the baking takes place inside a dutch oven or other oven safe pot (like the one I used. I do not have a dutch oven. It is currently the other thing that I am coveting in my life, along with that camera that I begged you for last time). Baking is 30 minutes with the lid on, follow by 30 minutes or so without the lid, or until golden, brown, and delicious.



With all of the sloppy mess that I was handling, I was pleasantly surprised that what I ended up actually looked like bread. In fact, it looked like damn good bread. One problem though, by that point, I was all doughed out from the pizza I binged on, so as good as the bread looked coming out of the oven (and smelled even better), I just could not sample any that night without committing a deadly sin (gluttony, for those of you scoring at home). It tasted great the next day though, and the people that I shared the bread with seemed to agree.

It is somewhat time intensive, but the effort is minimal and the results well worth it all. It is such a cheap way to always have fresh bread around the house, that I am preparing another hairy glop as we speak. Let the baking begin!